survival
by the queen of slurking
Summary: and now she realizes that katerina is dead and she is katherine


_**AN: Originally a oneshot, I'm going to leave this open-ended. If there's demand, then there will be more.**_

She flees, and considers it a miracle that none of the vampires hunting her track her. Even with Trevor's misdirection she's sure they can hear her heartbeat, smell the smear of blood on her forehead from when she tripped and cut herself.

Worse is that she has the moonstone, it's the biggest crime they can think of and she's committing it against them, sabotaging something Klaus has wanted for five hundred years.

She can't bring herself to care though, because her daughter is back in Bulgaria and she dreams at night of a little girl, a little girl who is progressively not so little and becoming an adult.

Elijah calls out to her and she strains to hear, listens to him promise that she won't be harmed if she just returned with the moonstone. It's true, she won't be _harmed, _she'll be _killed._ He's lying and she needs to save herself. She lies on the ground and her breathing sounds loud even to her, she's sure someone will hear and grows suspicious when they don't.

They move on and Trevor tells her where to go. Her legs hurt – she's not used to running for her life – and her lungs draw in air with a foreign desperation. Rose sounds decent, trustworthy maybe, and if she explains herself to the vampire perhaps she'll have mercy on her.

She continues to run.

0o0o0o0

Rose doesn't trust her completely, she can tell.

The vampire allows her to stay during the day and she considers the advantages of the woman not being able to walk in the sun.

She stabs herself in the stomach, realizing that for the sacrifice she has to be human. Becoming a vampire is not ideal but it is a way to survive, a way for her to eventually return to Bulgaria and find her daughter. The idea of living on blood and in the shadows is dreadful, but the idea of dying tomorrow is worse.

Rose heals her – she knew she would – and prepares to bind her to the bed so she can't do herself more harm. Trevor returns before Rose can finish, and Rose leaves the rope behind.

They talk too loud of bringing her back to Klaus, of hopefully winning his favour and being pardoned, and she uses the opportunity to hang herself.

By the time they reenter the room she's dead.

0o0o0o0

Her neck hurts and her throat is dry when she awakes. Rose is not present, but Trevor is and he tells her he would have, could have helped her.

She doubts this.

Running would not be enough. As a human she could only run so far and eventually her time would run out.

She cannot reconcile with her baby if she is truly dead.

0o0o0o0

Rose moves to stake her, to kill her, and now she realizes they are all doomed. She is doomed more so than the others, because she still has the moonstone and so she shields herself with the old woman who owns the cottage.

(She tries not to think on this. The woman reminds her of her own Grandmother back home, and she wonders if she'll ever see her again)

Her nose is only inches from the woman's throat and she can _hear_, suddenly, the heartbeat. She is not safe yet; not completely protected. Her teeth are still dull and human but she is able to bite easily and drinks.

Blood smears on her chin and rushes through her veins and she realizes that she's no longer helpless. There are birds singing, but they are a distance away. The floor is ever so subtly grey with dust and she can see every thread in the dress Rose wears.

"Better you die than I," she rasps, wondering at how suddenly the words leave her mouth.

This is when she realizes that she is no longer Katerina, whom Elijah chased around the gardens and spoke wistfully of love. Now, she is Katherine, and Katerina is dead.

It's the middle of the night and she has some hours before sunrise, and she has condemned them all to death but she cannot bring herself to care, so she vanishes out the door.

0o0o0o0

The new speed is advantageous. She runs far and wonders where she is, in awe of her perfect new body that does not lag and slow her down. Breathing is not necessary, it seems, and she can see flawlessly. Her hearing tells her there is a cottage some distance away and she knows sunrise must be near, so she runs there and pleads for help.

She tells the woman that she has been ill of late and merely desires to sleep. It works, and she sleeps in a dark room while the woman frets over if she wants food, drink, or anything. The cottage is humble and the woman is evidently not affluent, but it reminds her of having Mama caring for her when she was sick.

Only now she is not sick, she will never get sick, and so she relishes in the comfort of someone who does not have need of her blood.

She decides to repay the woman by not feeding on her. Not feeding is difficult, because she is hungry and feeding is instinctive, but the woman is kind and so much like Mama that she will let her live.

It now occurs to her that if she so chooses she could have life and death in her hands, and so she decides to stay away from Bulgaria for a few years. After all, blood is her life force and she needs to keep her composure when she meets her baby, when she reunites with Mama and Papa.

She will not tell them, she promises herself. They need not know that she is now undead, and she is confident that she can feign being human for some years.

A new carriage comes into her range of hearing and she learns that the owner is human, and he will be traveling all day, in a dark space. It is perfect for her needs – sunrise is soon – and so she charms the man into accepting a passenger.

"My name is Katherine," she tells him, and falls silent, because there are no words to describe her situation (she cannot risk further detail lest it fall into the wrong hands).

She says nothing more and he does not ask.


End file.
